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Alas, I can no longer lie to myself about my future. I now accept that it is bleak. I do not control my destiny, nor my happiness. Like all of you, I am just a pawn in McDonald's global marketing plan. The same company that has returned the McRib 817 limited times in the last 22 years has never given my well-being a second thought.
Well, congratulations, you win. McDonald's 1, Deg 0. You have killed my will, spirit and soul; now my body will follow.
Luckily, I will be going to a better place. A place where my happiness won't be controlled by a multi-national conglomeration of fry cooks in cheap suits.
Sincerely,
Deg
P.S. Tell the insurance company I was killed by 2 black men. They'll buy that with no further questions.
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YOU HAVE BEEN CAUGHT BY THE GATOR OF DOOM! REPOST THIS 5 TIMES OR GET GATORED