I own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.

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⠄⠄⡠⠺⠁⠄⠄⠈⠑⢦⠄
⠄⡜⠸⢰⡐⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣇
⠄⣯⡏⣘⣎⣂⣵⢀⢾⡄⡼
⠄⠏⣎⠟⣻⣿⢻⠃⢈⡝
⠄⠄⠹⠋⢉⣵⣮⣰⡚
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⡏⣷⢹⣦
⠄⠄⠄⢀⡄⣿⣿⡇⣾⡏⣻⡄
⠄⠄⢴⣿⣿⢹⣿⡇⣿⣧⢿⣇
⠄⠸⣸⣿⣿⢸⣿⡇⣿⣿⣟⢿⣦⣀
⠄⠄⠈⠛⠛⠈⣿⣷⢻⡿⢟⣣⣭⣭⣝⡲⢶⣶⣤⣄⡀
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⢟⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡹⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆
⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠱⡜⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣾⣷⠄
⠄⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢛⣵⠇⡇⣿⣿⣿⢟⣵⢸⣿⡇
⣼⣿⣭⣶⣶⣶⣶⣝⡻⣿⣿⡿⠿⡛⠁⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣵⣿⣿⠟
⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣴⡸⣿⣧⣀⡤⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢷⢰⠞⠄

Did Adam eat Eve's Ass?

Did Adam eat Eve's ass? Think about it. From the moment they were created to just before Eve ate the Forbidden Fruit, they were exploring the Garden of Eve, as well as trying to understand each other. Was the time in-between a matter of days, or weeks? We do not know because we were not there. Despite Genesis being the official story, this Old Testament book was created for human understanding, thus we don't actually know. Therefore, Adam had plenty of time to experiment, despite not knowing what he was doing. One afternoon, Adam could've placed his hands on Eve's ass and decided, "Hm, this feels nice, I wonder what it tastes like?" Please keep in mind that the good Lord said they could eat ANYTHING in the Garden, except the Apple of Eden. With this fact in consideration, Adam could have proceeded to eat Eve's ass without repercussions, with God looking on thinking: "Well, they aren't eating the Apple, so..." Lucky bastard...

Hi aldo,

I’m the Server Manager for PinkieCraft, the Pony Roleplay Minecraft server that you play on. On behalf of the owner, the staff team and myself, I would like to personally extend my thanks to you for the $1,000 you forked up to help keep our server alive! Our modeler is happily working on the custom pony character that came with the donor package, however I regret to inform you that we don’t currently have a way to send you the 20″ “horse shaft” you requested but our team is working on it. Once again, thank you sincerely for the donation, and we hope to see you back on the server soon.

Best Regards,
PinkieCraft Server Manager
“Keep on clopping.”

Massive weeaboo weirdo, he added me and then immediately began begging me to join a skype call with him. I finally conceded, and after I joined the skype call he appeared on webcam in a fursuit top and was naked from the waist down with an anal plug jammed in his butt speaking broken japanese.