[WP] One of the gods of your world has abdicated, and each of the others has nominated a mortal candidate for the position. You've been sponsored by the weakest of the gods, and while the others are being granted all sorts of powers for the tournament, all you've been given is an odd looking musket.

"But all you gave me is this stupid antique!"

"That 'stupid antique,'" his sponsor retorted, "is a genuine Springfield Model 1861 rifled musket. In its time, it was prized for its range, its accuracy, and its reliability."

"Great! But all the other competitors are going to have every superpower in the book! This is ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ compared to what I'll be facing in the arena!"

Orixia smiled. "Just practice with it for the next week. And trust me."

§

Each god was entitled to bestow powers on their candidate in accordance with their own power, which gave the most powerful gods a decided advantage and also tended to maintain the status quo among the pantheon.

In the interest of fairness, however, each candidate also had to be given a mortal weakness, and the rules for selecting that weakness were strict and inviolable.

The gods, being gods, all wanted their candidates' weaknesses to be as small as possible, so in the days before candidate selection they each went to the Celestial Historian, a noted expert in all things related to war and combat, and charged him with researching the most insignificant weakness they could bestow which would still qualify.

Finally, the tournament began, and each competitor in turn was announced, along with their attributes.

"The god Aros the Ultimate presents David Peterson, whose powers are near-infinite strength and superhuman speed! His mortal weakness is vulnerability to being shot by a Springfield Model 1861 rifled musket."

There was heard much laughter and a few boos from the massed audience. In limiting his candidate's Achilles' heel to an attack with such an ancient, obscure weapon, Aros the Ultimate had virtually assured his victory. The tournament might as well end now.

"The goddess Belingia the Great presents Angela Moquat, whose powers are ultimate mastery of edged weapons and birdlike flight! Her mortal weakness is vulnerability to being shot by a Springfield Model 1861 rifled musket."

A gasp rose from the audience, followed by a growing murmur. What was going on here?

"The god Caranis the Merciless presents M'tanga I'pongo, whose powers are transformation into fierce animals and the ability to cast fire! His mortal weakness is vulnerability to being shot by a Springfield Model 1861 rifled musket."

So it continued through scores of candidates, until the last, weakest entry was introduced...

"The god Orixia the Celestial Historian presents Jeff Myrtlebank, whose powers are outstanding marksmanship and the mastery of his Springfield Model 1861 rifled musket. His mortal weakness is being brought to orgasm orally by Aros the Ultimate."

Jeff and Orixia stood silently as all the other gods gathered at the other end of the arena and engaged in animated conversation. Finally Aros the Ultimate's booming voice rang out for all to hear:

"NO! I am not going to 'take one for the team!'"

Each candidate forfeited in turn, until only one remained. Jeff Myrtlebank was accepted to the pantheon, and every power granted to every candidate was given to him, along with all their vulnerabilities--which, ironically, were all the same.

§

In the end, he alone among the gods had only two weaknesses. One became no weakness at all when he used his powers to secretly replace all Springfield Model 1861's in the universe with identical replicas, which of course held no threat to him.

As for the other, Jeff eventually defeated Aros and took the throne, and even when facing annihilation, Aros remained true to his word.