Imp's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked Jan 12, 2017 @ 3:57pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked Jan 12, 2017 @ 5:01pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked Jan 12, 2017 @ 6:37pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked Sep 6, 2017 @ 5:11pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked Jan 12, 2017 @ 4:25pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked Jan 12, 2017 @ 4:21pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked Jan 12, 2017 @ 5:48pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked Jan 12, 2017 @ 7:31pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked Jan 14, 2017 @ 1:49am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked Jan 14, 2017 @ 12:24pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked Jan 17, 2017 @ 6:01pm

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked Jan 18, 2017 @ 4:03am

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked Jun 7, 2018 @ 1:42pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked Feb 2, 2017 @ 5:40pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked Sep 10, 2017 @ 8:08am

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked Jan 13, 2017 @ 2:16pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked Jan 12, 2017 @ 7:05pm

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Unlocked Aug 18, 2018 @ 12:05pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked Jun 3, 2019 @ 1:55am

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked Jan 12, 2017 @ 5:43pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked Jan 18, 2017 @ 2:54am

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked Sep 6, 2017 @ 5:11pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked Sep 6, 2017 @ 5:11pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked Jan 14, 2017 @ 12:18pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked Jan 18, 2017 @ 3:27am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked Jan 25, 2017 @ 6:23pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked Jun 7, 2018 @ 9:02pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked Sep 10, 2017 @ 8:18am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked Jan 14, 2017 @ 1:45am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked Jan 19, 2017 @ 1:59pm

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked Aug 27, 2017 @ 9:23am

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked Sep 6, 2017 @ 5:11pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked Jan 12, 2017 @ 7:03pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked Jan 12, 2017 @ 4:24pm

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked Aug 18, 2018 @ 11:40am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked Jan 12, 2017 @ 3:48pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked Jan 14, 2017 @ 12:52pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked Jan 18, 2017 @ 4:24am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked Sep 6, 2017 @ 5:11pm

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked Jan 13, 2017 @ 1:21pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked Mar 25, 2020 @ 6:43pm

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked Dec 19, 2018 @ 6:08pm

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked Mar 26, 2020 @ 3:53pm

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked Sep 14, 2019 @ 1:56am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked Sep 14, 2019 @ 1:56am

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked Jan 18, 2017 @ 3:22am

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Unlocked Nov 23, 2018 @ 2:13pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked Jan 18, 2017 @ 4:04am

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked Jan 18, 2017 @ 5:08am

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked Jan 18, 2017 @ 5:16pm

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked Jan 19, 2017 @ 3:36am

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked Jan 25, 2017 @ 6:55pm

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

Unlocked Feb 13, 2017 @ 9:10am

Dick Message

Wasted no time with the Wise Wang.

Unlocked Jun 8, 2018 @ 9:57pm

PooMasher

Bought the toilet paper instead of stealing it.

Unlocked Jan 18, 2017 @ 5:39am

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked Jan 18, 2017 @ 5:49pm

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

Unlocked Feb 6, 2017 @ 6:35pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked Sep 6, 2017 @ 5:11pm

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked Jan 14, 2017 @ 1:19am

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

17 / 30

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

13 / 30

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

0 / 10

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

13 / 30

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

25 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

1 / 20

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

14 / 30

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

7 / 30