1st place - Australian Pinga Chew Competition (2013-2017)
2nd place - Australian Pinga Chew Competition (2018-current)
Cowdownie Community Fair Event Manager - (2013-current)




Head on down to the Cowdownie Community Fair. This Saturday through Wednesday to Tuesday and Sunday and Wednesday on the fifth Saturday of every month, we've got lions, anal beads, paved surfaces and grassed surfaces, cake decorating and rides for the kids. Have you ever been in a paddock before? Well, we've got heaps of them. Come try it out for yourself.

The annual cow round up and rape. Whoever gets their penis inside the cow first wins a handful of Smarties. Get there before three to see some lovely local lovely ladies competing in the beauty contest. This one here: she's only fifteen. Can you bloody believe it?

You into hard drugs? Well, look no further. We've got the annual Pinga Chew. Eat as many as you can and the winner gets a free funeral and a Game Boy Color. There's chicken fights. You fight the first chicken for free. You fight your second. Fight. You get up on the third one and you go home with a tractor on the day.

And if you're still cooked on the Sunday, well, why not come see Greg in the kissing booth. It's only a dollar a kiss and children kiss for free. There'll be sales all weekend. Hot chips, cold chips, FADS, Coke Zero, glass pipes... walking out the door. We've got free onion, free snags, free sauce - and you want more sauce, you just ask. There's heaps of ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ sauce to go around.

You want shearing? Well, you've got it. Come down to the sheds at seven to shave some of the local dads' backs. Come see famous comedian, Jim Jefferies, tell a few jokes. What have you got for us, Jim?

So, three ♥♥♥♥♥ walk into a bar, right? And, they're from different nationalities and one of them gets raped. Then the Irishman said something foolish I can't...
Gates open at three and be their at two forty-five to see the gates open. All money on the day raised goes to the treatment for Brent's haemorrhoids. On you, Brent.

It's the Cowdownie Community Fair. Directions are simple. Just past this tree, up the road from this fenced area, adjacent to this rock. And if you see this man, well, you've gone too far. We'll see you Monday. Closed Mondays. Be there.