（づ￣3￣）づ╭❤️～

☆*: .｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆

☝️one time⏲️i was playing🎮fortnite home🏠alone when suddenly❗JOHN WICK 🔫 came barging into my room🛋️and told me👂he'd give me 1 million💲v bucks😱if i got on my knees 🙏 and closed my eyes 👁️👃👁️ i got down ⬇️ and before↩️i could even close my eyes 👀 i saw JOHN WICK 😏 reach towards his crotch 😮 to get my vbucks❗😎 he told me to open 📭my mouth 👄 so he could give 🎁 me a chug jug 👌 so i opened wide 😃 and he mustve givem me a big 😫chug jug 😂 tee hee silly john😂once he pulled 🔙it out i felt some droplets 💦on my face😨 so i licked👅it up and it was super 🤮 salty 🤮 once i asked🗣️for my v bucks 💲he laughed 😆 and called me a fagbag and left 🚪🏃i was crying 😭so hard that mom 👧 called me and said look at my dad👨in his new fortnite 😃costume 🕴️ i gasped and ran 👟to my room 🛋️ my dad😱is john wick!😱❗❗this really is a epic victory royal❗❗

Merry★* 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ •
•。★Christmas★ 。* 。
° 。 ° ˛˚* _Π_____*。* ˚
˚ ˛ •˛•˚ * /______/~＼。˚ ˚ ˛
˚ ˛ •˛• ˚˛｜田 田｜門｜ ˚ *

“Is that a Minion?”

“Yeah, it’s a MIN-ion. It shoots bananas.”

I was never really afraid of large, cud-chewing mammals.

I still wasn't after I met...

...the creature.