A young man stands in his bedroom. It just so happens that today, the 13th of April, 2009, is this young man's birthday. Though it was thirteen years ago he was given life, it is only today he will be given a name!

What will the name of this young man be?

Enter name.
Zoosmell Pooplord
Try again, smartass

Try again.
John Egbert

Examine room.
Your name is JOHN. As was previously mentioned it is your BIRTHDAY. A number of CAKES are scattered about your room. You have a variety of INTERESTS. You have a passion for REALLY TERRIBLE MOVIES. You like to program computers but you are NOT VERY GOOD AT IT. You have a fondness for PARANORMAL LORE, and are an aspiring AMATEUR MAGICIAN. You also like to play GAMES sometimes.
What will you do?

John: Quickly retrieve arms from drawer.
Your ARMS are in your MAGIC CHEST, pooplord!

Remove CAKE from MAGIC CHEST.
Out of sympathy for John's perceived lack of arms, you pick up the CAKE for him and put it on his BED.

John: Quickly retrieve arms from MAGIC CHEST.
You retrieve your FAKE ARMS from the chest. You use these for HILARIOUS ANTICS.

You CAPTCHALOGUE them in your SYLLADEX. You have no idea what that actually means though.

There are other items in the chest.