Beejay Simpson
Collin   California, United States
 
 
WARNING: IF ALLERGIC TO CANCER LEAVE NOW
proluge- teh stury uf 2 bund bi luv luvrs, dey b ded nao bcuz uf ppl runing drems.

teh stury of maceroni and cring.

1 dai bejay was not cring. cring bcame sum1 eventualy. bejay was tired. he had to run, and he luved to sit on ass. barul is rud about cravun. jewby always yeld at me, and stuf.
cravun did sumtin difrnt tho. cravun said '♥♥♥ uf begay' and i cring den. cring is mem, mem is cring. i ped on mum and cring. cravun lauft at me. i luv mem tho. cring is cring
hao funy. lng stury shurt, i crid in a crib, and cring.

cravun and burl left tugehtr, 2 huld hands in harship. i laved pankakekkk, seerupygoodness in me mumscar. i cring wen cravun no ship me fre sweatshop make sweatshirt. i writ sturies
4 him 2 red. he laft at me, i cring. cring is me, i am cring, cring likes csgo, cring thinks he wood get fap kniv duplo lego project. cring mad dis.

dai tre, i liv difrtnly, bejay is gun. bejay is life doe. jon doe is kel 2 u no. i tink cring is betr doe. bt posbily cring is cring and kinese plp mak me cring. i got jun wek
cumdumptser band and stuf, and i got no knev, cring eryday til 199999999999999999, long time, i no. cravun lie on peolp, cuz he fat.

nao u mai b wandering in park and tink, weight, i fat. butthole den u relize, i nevr gotta go fst tu lern y macernoni n cring. cring tel u nao. cring had macaroni and chez chez rimes
with cring. duh, change namestae. i stil need knv, i gro wek. wek is bad, fud, need, watr, pe, po, powowowowow, jewby red me lik autisticbanana and trains ned baronimakaroniand
stuf. i no run, but i prod, i produck music. music mak me money. i rich and provid me mum wit a car. i can den say 'i in me car dat my mum borow'- cring pt 4

fif saja uf dis. tims hav changd. i also change pants, kel rite? i flied a cite and did. i did su hard i ded. i ded but ded katzerooni brot me bak. i fli lik papr. it is quiet,
buthole do i like it? it is cring wurty. i cringd me mums pants. u mai wundr y i onli rit bad gramr und atistic n stf. barul returnd and stuf. barl decid 2 b men 3 me. he no red me
gr8 jurney band- gr8 band, wud recomendationmadekewl. i just wunder weer pandasheepsuicidialthoughts wo neds therpy went. he cring so hard, i tink he b mre cring den me. gaby n
newl faild me, and mad me mum go down drain in mumey 26 tausnd munemys, i wil retrn nuter day, but unly wen me creater, jezuzninjadociouscrist, returns-cring rebirth:alwayschicken:

sith prt uf dis. cring b sad d. it so saad it floopy. i rapy but at da sam tim, it is sad. cruvn led on me, but i mor sad abut carber lif insurancing hands. gluv wurld is me favurit tim uf de dai. i nut sur weter i mor sed abut mor muney or penis a dey. i ask 4 peny, and cravn stamped me humwurk. jewby gut scumed be cravn, i no sur weter dis becum pubic. he led on me cuz he fat. fap kniv duplo lego project, powowowowowow, and begay ar al ded ;c. teh scam is rel, but trget is mad me sad. tuday i mak lung sturi. i hop for peny, an cravn mak museec chnel. i tel marvel sturie abut cravun send 26 tausend mumeys, but he nevr buy acc. i sad, but not 2 sad. i not mad, jus disapoint.- final message of cring(p.s. cring is ded 4evr, and wil nevr evr evr evr evr evr evr ver ♥♥♥ aliv.)

unespected seben part uf dis, jewby is mad at me, nd i hav nu idea y. y is a letr, jus like a. a is teh bumbsite i did nut wutch jewby's bum. i sadder kitten nao, bcuz dey n* word defuzed ;c i cring nao bcuz i sayd. cring ded, but aparantly no. no is me, nd suiside ist unly uption. -cring, but my namestae no cring, bcuz cring is ded. 4 i ever b criingy.:died::alwayschicken:
Currently Offline
crings ruls 2 liv bi
ruls:
alwais wash ur fingers
nevr and i see nevr, but den blow.
if juses can walk on vater, he can swam on land
alwais watch jewby's bum
b gr8tst cs:cumpdumpster playr evr!1!!!11
:alwayschicken: studee 4 testies
b nice 2 ppl, liv ♥♥♥♥ lif, git paid, git laid, giterate:steamsalty:
b nic 2 ur dad, cus he b supr buli nd sheeeet
mak sur bru b4 hu, u no?
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ need stiches
mak sur fren r rel fren
duh tim i ned 2 b on mi best is nvr
dunt b bj
dunt luk up 2 bj
bj isnt rel
The perspective of how you look at things change the way you feel, so look positive and end up being positive, no matter how far those thoughts need to stretch to obtain it, #happythoughts(the only proper grammar cring will ever use)
cring b savag
♥♥♥♥♥ roasted



CONTINUED FROM DESCRIPTION:
criingy acht prt uf dis ;c i hab wurst dai evr wen my gf dump me hrdr den garbage in traaaash kan. i tri su hrd to b gr8 bj, but i b bad ;c she sai 'le go for le wak?' nd im lik sur, but den se sai se nu rdy fur cummitment, nd i was skured. se ignurs me nao, evn aftr dis tim, i wan 2 se hr agin, but se ignures me. se mad mi hapi, nd i cud hid me kancr arund her, but se gon ;c :steamsad::tcry::poopscoop::alwayschicken:


Unusual unboxes:
#1- DBD Boron Beanie on October 1st:bonfire:


"Let me tell you, I am nobody's puppet." - Nydia Velazquez

Indifference is the most insidious danger of all- Elie Wiesel

I'm honestly insane

[11:11 AM]
ADAM:
I can't wait for u to come home and the whole place
Smells like skunk weed

Shadope: feelings are for gays
Beejay Simpson: then dude
Beejay Simpson: im the gayest person you've ever met

Shadope: become a body builder
Beejay Simpson: nah
Shadope: squat 675 like me dude
Beejay Simpson: I'll squat the feels, those are heavy enough
Screenshot Showcase
I'd like to thank everyone for this, my journey is complete. I paid a lot, but damn was it worth it. Thanks for the opportunity that I was given
8 4 2
Screenshot Showcase
3/3 babes :)
1 1
Review Showcase
179 Hours played
I know a lot of these reviews are about "don't play this game if you hate yourself" and a lot of that, but this game truly made me find a lot in myself. It's not one of those games where it's justifiable to be mad at the game, nothing like Counter-Strike, Overwatch, League of Legends, etc.. It's a game where you realize you're better than you think and that you're able to do what you put your mind to. Yes, it's brutal, yes, it's probably harder than "Getting Over It", but by God you learn what you're supposed to. Would I do it again? Unsure, but am I glad I did? Abso-♥♥♥♥♥♥♥-lutely. I've never had the time to sit down and grind something on this level, continuing despite failing, having the basic parts of the game take hours upon hours. There's several times where I opened it further down then when I started, and that was a difficult thing to realize. Getting to the top wasn't going to be easy, and as long as I knew that, and despite how many times I fell, that I would get back up, it was then worth it for the time put in. Will I go and beat New Babe+ and Ghost of the Babe? Maybe, unsure at this point. I recommend the challenge of the game, and I hope it means as much to you as it did to me. Time to find the next chapter of my life.


Edit 1: I decided to give New Babe+ a go right after I wrote this review, and it was the same feeling as the end of the base game. I had that feeling of not being upset if I missed the jumps because it was all part of the learning process. I probably spent a little too long for the early game, and it became less and less about not minding the fail, and became more that I wanted to be done with it. I couldn't grind the game without being a little upset, which I hadn't done the whole base game. At some point I reached a mental block due to things I had going on in real life, and I couldn't jump the same anymore, and it became more and more like the rest of the reviews; a mentally destroying game. I had to completely give up the game for about 2 months after crying in joy for finally beating an area, which was upsetting. There's a sense of comfort in achieving the level of skill you need to beat the game and the confidence that comes along with it, knowing you can do the jump without thinking. After those 2 months, I finally found the time to try again. Within 3 days and a total of about 6 hours on top of where I was at, I beat New Babe+ in just under 25 hours total, and overcoming all my mental setbacks. I still recommend the game fully, but if you've got a mental block and can't escape to the game, take a break and work on yourself, then come back, it's there with open arms.

Edit 2: I realized I was 2/3 of the way complete (game wise) so I just had to give Ghost of the Babe a try, and with this review being written; I beat it. Ghost of the Babe felt different: significantly harder, more punishing jumps, and a very challenging finish. The ends of the other games felt more relaxing to me, Main Babe being the easiest, and New Babe+ being significantly harder, but still a doable end area. Ghost of the Babe was the only game when I missed the final jump to the bottom block at the very end frame, so I would like to believe it was significantly harder. I completed GoTB in just over 34 hours, and a total completion for all 3 games in just over ~75 hours, in game time of 85 hours including speedruns/snake ring/other collectibles, but on the actual path to the babes: 75 hours sounds about right. I never thought I had it in me to do this challenge, but I wanted to feel accomplished for something more than just trading in CS:GO and TF2, and I truly do feel that way. I finish this with graduating college in a couple of weeks, and frankly I finally feel at peace.

I do recommend the challenge of at least main babe, as I said in the first part of this review, but the other 2 are for those who want to feel both pain and reward; as they are difficult but worth it I'd say. Good luck to all those out there, the babes are worth it.

Edit 3: My main goal at the point of finally beating all 3 maps was to finally 100% the Main Babe - No falls, Giant Boots, and Snake Ring. This goal of mine was something I put on the back burner for a long time but after seeing some YouTube video it inspired me once more to try and achieve something that I truly wanted. Within 4 hours of that video, I had achieved it - completing the Main Babe with all of those additional challenges. Truly I still believe completing this game gives a level of satisfaction and dopamine that no other game has done before, no achievement in the real world has ever led to a feeling so great. The 4 hours felt too short, so the next challenge is to 100% the entire game - definitely will take over 4 hours.
Favorite Game
24
Hours played
8
Achievements
Recent Activity
61 hrs on record
last played on Apr 18
3,615 hrs on record
last played on Apr 16
7.3 hrs on record
last played on Apr 16
Beejay Simpson Apr 28, 2022 @ 11:39am 
Privating comments due to impersonators, feel free to add me.
DefiantNova Apr 28, 2022 @ 10:45am 
Would like to buy ur burning hat out of hell pleasw get back to me when u can!
GLooMP Apr 24, 2022 @ 7:15pm 
adding to ask about hat outta hell
Empaparse Apr 19, 2022 @ 1:39pm 
Don't let anyone upset you. You’re a gift to everyone you meet ❤
Bilbo Teabaggins Feb 28, 2022 @ 3:51pm 
blood in the air, blood on the ground CENTRAL SOUTH OFFICE PARK ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
Empaparse Feb 22, 2022 @ 6:47am 
Hope you have a wonderful day <3