Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ๖ۣۜB๖ۣۜI๖ۣۜO Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

★ A Caffeine dependent life-form
★ A human. Being.
★ A woman of mystery and power, whose power is exceeded only by her mystery
★ Absolutely awkward, proudest of nerd & geek, decreaser of world sucking
★ Aggressively infancy and stuff
★ All you hipsters need to stop wearing Nirvana shirts if you don’t even listen to them.
★ Analogue at birth, digital by design
★ Anyone knows my Instagram username not making a new account again.
★ Are you a banker because I’d like you to leave me a loan
★ Born at a very young age
★ Buddy, can you paradigm?
★ Camping is intents
★ Can someone tell me my Instagram username I locked myself out and I do not know what to do
★ Chocolate doesn’t ask questions, chocolate understands
★ Coffee-Drinker, youtube & stream sralker. I’m very busy and awesome
★ Currently starring in my own reality show titled, A Modern Cinderella; One Girl’s Search for Love and Shoe
★ Currently working towards an MBA with an emphasis in fantasy football
★ Don’t think for a second that I actually care what you have to say
★ Eating a whole apple core because you can’t be bothered going to the bin, admit it, you’ve done it.
★ Every storm runs out of rain
★ Fabulous ends in “us” coincidence? I think not
★ Generally, the path of least resistance appeals. Also, I am excellent at parallel parking.
★ God bless this hot mess
★ Good Samaritan, washed-up athlete, especially gifted napper.
★ Have lots of hair and like ugly things
★ Here to serve…. the cat overlord
★ I absolutely hate Instagram, and anything else having to do with hashtags.
★ I always feel sad for seedless watermelons, because what if they wanted babies?
★ I am coming back to face the reality that a normal day is not beer on the beach or calamari in the belly.
★ I can quote (Insert movie) better than you and all your friends.
★ I Can’t remember who I stole my bio from or why
★ I have not lost my mind – it’s backed up on HD somewhere.
★ I have this new theory that human adolescence doesn’t end until your early thirties.
★ I hope one day I love something the way women in commercials love yogurt
★ I looked at my Instagram photos and realized I look beautiful.
★ I once sneezed a beanie weenie through my nose. I also made a horse faint in Costa Rica.
★ I prefer my puns intended
★ I put the hot in psychotic
★ I recently gave up Warcraft so my productivity, and drinking, have increased dramatically.
★ I shouldn’t be allowed to go on Snapchat, Facebook or Instagram when I’m drunk!
★ I still don’t understand Twitter, but here I am.
★ I talk like a baby and I never pay for drinks.
★ I think it’s weird if a girl doesn’t have an Instagram now days.
★ I used to act. I also belly dance and eat Jolly Ranchers – not always at the same time though.
★ I was addicted to hokey pokey but I turned myself around
★ I will go into survival mode if tickled
★ I’m a force to be reckoned with, I reckon
★ I’m not glad it’s “Friday” I’m glad it’s “Today”. Love your life 7 days a week.
★ I’m starting to like Instagram, which is weird because I hate pictures.
★ I’ve always thought being popular on Instagram is as about as useless as being rich in monopoly
★ I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I am joking.
★ I’m here to avoid friends on Facebook.
★ I’m not smart. I just wear glasses.
★ I’m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them
★ I’m real and I hope some of my followers are too.
★ I’m really a giant cupcake. Afraid of roller coasters and dry ice
★ If I could sum up my life in one line I would die of embarrassment
★ If you don’t have anything nice to say, come sit by me, and we can make fun of people together
★ In search of sleep, sanity, & The Shire
★ Insert pretentious stuff about myself here.
★ It’s Weird that all pics shared from Instagram are always blurring.
★ Just a cupcake looking for a stud muffin
★ Just another paper cut survivor
★ Just keep swimming
★ Life is dumb and I want to sleep
★ Living vicariously through myself
★ Making the Snuggie look good since 2009.
★ Mama said life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what your gonna get
★ Mermaids don’t do homework
★ My hobbies are breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
★ My life is about as organized as the $5 DVD bin at Cheap As Chips.
★ My life was changed by a train.
★ My relationship status? Netflix, Oreos and sweatpants
★ Naturally and artificially flavored
★ Nice girls finish lunch.
★ Nothing more than a woman who cared enough to try
★ Oh I’m sorry was my sass too much for you?
★ OMG no one cares
★ Only Swag girls are fascinated by hashtags on the Facebook.
★ Perfect has 7 letters and so does meeeeee. Coincidence? I think not.
★ Please insert pretentious crap about myself here.
★ Pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick, and pull yourself together.
★ Probably the best meat eater in the world
★ Proud supporter of messy hair and sweatpants
★ Pudding tastes better with a plastic spoon
★ Putting’ the ‘elation’ in ‘Public Relations’
★ Recommended by 4 out of 5 people that recommend things.
★ Recovering ice cream addict
★ S P E C T A C U L A R V E R N A C U L A R
★ Someday, there’s going to be an updated version of me.
★ Sometimes I just want to give it all up and become a beautiful billionaire.
★ Spreading smiles like they’re herpes
★ Stay classy
★ Super cali swagilistic sexy hella dopeness
★ The bags under my eyes belong to kaya west
★ The fat on my body is designer
★ The only person on Instagram who doesn’t claim to be a social media guru.
★ The only thing stopping me from being pure ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ is my lack of motivation.
★ There shouldn’t be a fear of getting old. It’s the fear of not getting there that scares me.
★ There’s no such thing as darkness, just an absence of light
★ To infinity and beyond
★ Trying to elevate small talk to medium talk.
★ Where the hell am I, and how did I get here?
★ White lips, pale face, I hate the entire human race
★ Why look up at the stars when the biggest star is me
★ Will show ankle for five minutes of wireless
★ Winner of World’s Best Wife Award (Category: Nagging)
★ Words cannot express my love & passion for Fridays!
★ You can follow me if you feel like it. You can also put peanut butter in your butthole, if you feel like it.
★ You can’t fix stupid, no matter how much duct tape you use over their mouth!
★ You is kind, you is smart, you is important
★ You know your in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.
★ You’re too rad to be sad.
★ You’re a 10, on the pH scale, maybe. Cuz you’re basic